no I am not ready

Sometimes we are not ready for the thing we want to do.

I like being challenged but sometimes the challenge is too much.  It is not wise to proceed because to do so would be egotistical or just plain stupid.

This week, I visited a new-to-me surf spot.  To be plain, it was too much for me.  I am not ready for it.  In every way I could describe, my body knew it should not attempt.

The allure was strong.  I had the peer pressure of some of my (more reckless) kids, a pristine and beautiful ocean and an ideal day should I ever want to attempt this wave.

My body knew better right away.  I felt this anxiety in my belly, rising into my chest.  I literally stood there for over an hour, deliberating. 

Maybe if I approached it this way.  Maybe if I entered the ocean over there.  Maybe if the tide was a bit higher.

But alas, it was not my day for this.  I can set the goal for myself that one day it WILL be.  But in that moment, it was not and there was no way to (intelligently) bypass my body.

This felt different than other times I’ve been met with something that felt just a LITTLE BIT above my skill level.  I get this feeling every week at my surf lesson.  I am not scared to death or totally intimidated, but I get a healthy dose of “this is definitely a lot…but not more than I can handle” feeling.  

Of course I am going to compare this to birth work or even getting into birth work.

There is meeting challenge in our lives, and doing impossible things no one thinks we can.  There is being uncomfortable as we grow and learn and knowing what true testing the limit feels like in our body can help.

And then there is the NO I AM NOT READY feeling and knowing and with this….we do not push and test.  

We accept the no as gracefully as possible.

Many of you have written to me over the last few months (joining my free VIP list) sharing so much of your heart.  What I got from a lot of your shares is that it’s not time.  To be a midwife or a doula.  Or it’s not the right situation.  It just isn’t a go, right now.  

Being “ready” means a lot of things.  We aren’t just ready in one way or even two.  Spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally…we can asses our readiness or lack thereof.

What are you just not ready for? Can you feel that? Is it ok for that be ok?  Even just for right now.