Miscarriage Support – The Miscarriage Mother

I did not set out to focus on miscarriage support, but in my own experiences and in my time as a midwife, miscarriage has found me again and again.

Death. Loss. Rebirth.

Each time I personally experienced a miscarriage (5 times total) I found myself viscerally WISHING for a fairy godmother that would make it ok. Someone that could share her wisdom, teach me, remind me of what I already knew and also someone that could take hearing it all.

And by “all” there is a lot when we lose a baby. We have questions, worries, fears, and “unspoken things” we don’t think we can tell a soul.

Part of my life’s work is to Mother you through this miscarriage.

It’s a club that no one wants to be in, but there is a Sacred aspect.

Along with the physical process; which most women know nothing about because there is not this support and knowledge. Most women will go into the medical world for management simply because they don’t have the correct information and they are scared. I’ve seen it a million times, and this route often causes undue medical/sexual/birth trauma and can be injurious to a woman’s reproductive (and emotional and mental) health.

Miscarriage is rarely a medical emergency but a process that requires us to be with death. Ick. How about some support with that?

Listen to me talk about the Miscarriage Mother on this podcast.

Here is what I offer, plain and simple. In my experience there are at least three parts to this process:

Pre-miscarriage support; you are bleeding, cramping, and/or are told there is no longer a live baby. You have no idea what to expect when, and you might also be in shock. Why did this happen? When will the bleeding start? What are the risks of waiting? What are my options?

I offer “pre-miscarriage” support; these are hour long online appointments where we will go over your unique situation (how many weeks pregnant, etc.) and what you might expect. I will help you get ready and prepared and supported. This includes the waiting aspect (many women’s bodies take weeks to miscarry), supplies to retrieve, options you have and support on the mystical Spiritual journey. Many women go through the stages of grief and many varied emotions and thoughts and worries. I have been through this and can hold the space for you to feel, mourn, question, and just be where you are; there may be past traumas to be integrated during this stage before the miscarriage can begin. I also include personalized text message support in between appointments.

Miscarriage support; you are actively miscarrying and want virtual support and a real live person you can ask questions of. How long will this take? Will it be painful? How much blood can I lose? How do I know when it’s over? Can I do this at home?

This active support is on a case by case on call basis. I am available for you by phone and text at any hour. This includes help in knowing when the miscarriage is complete, the ability to send photos to me, and what to look for and signs of being unwell.

Postpartum miscarriage support; you have miscarried recently (or even a while ago) and want to be comforted, reminded to rest and take care. You and your baby have not been forgotten, even though most people have no idea what you just went through. These appointments may include trauma support and help processing the experience, whether positive or negative. We may also incorporate other tools like self-womb healing and visualizations. The postpartum time is often neglected and it’s a time of growth, healing, awareness and still, often grief.

Here’s a podcast I did about postpartum miscarriage support.

And some kind words from Brittany:

I had the pleasure to work with Maryn for a 5 week Miscarriage Mother support journey.  My time with Maryn was surprising and heart opening. I really didn’t know what to expect from this journey, but as soon as I learned about this new offering, it spoke to exactly what I had been looking for as I was navigating life and fertility after 4 consecutive losses. Each week as we sat down for somatic experiencing sessions, I would find us diving into whatever it was that my body found most pressing and most pertinent to feel that day.  Often, this seemingly was not related to my losses.  Always, with Maryn’s insightful and sensitive guidance, my body would bring me back to the wisdom that I carry, reminding me of the strength I have to navigate whatever the Universe holds for me. In the time since we finished working together, I have felt a wholeness that stems from spending time with and valuing the dark and difficult feelings in my body.  While I historically would have called these feelings bad or negative or unhelpful, Maryn’s guidance through this somatic experience helped me to see these parts of myself as valid and real.  It feels difficult to articulate what this has meant to me, not only in allowing myself to acknowledge those things in a non-judgemental way, but also to see that those feelings are part of what make me a whole human and that feeling those things fully is an essential part of our human experience. I feel so grateful for the shift in perspective that I have moving forward and know that I will lean on this as I navigate what is to come for me.  Thank you, Maryn ❤️

The first step is to schedule a complimentary 15 minute phone call to assess whether you are the right match for this support and to answer any immediate questions based on the phase you are in.

I don’t wish miscarriage on any woman, but I am glad you found this support and I would be honored to be there with you. And for you.

Here are some other resources I’ve made over the years about my own experiences and other women I have supported.

MISCARRIAGE AND LOSS PODCASTS

• The Miscarriage Mother
• The Things We Don’t Talk About: Early Miscarriage
• Evie’s Story
• The Sacred Side of Miscarriage with Sabrina Wolf Moon
• Pregnancy After Loss: Straight Talk About Working Through the Challenges
• The Sable Journal: Selected Readings From My 15 Week Journey Carrying My Dead Son
• More On Pregnancy Loss
• The Deeper Experience of an Early Pregnancy Loss
• Miscarriage as an Embodied Experience with Alyssa Rafidi
• How I Used Midwifery Knowledge to Navigate My Pregnancy Loss
• The Magic of Miscarriage with Jessica Birnbaum Pratt