It’s been a long and wind-y road with this book I wrote last year.
This book is about my life, birth, the birth I attended and my hopes for the future.
(If you missed it, Margo and I wrote a book together a few years ago. This new one will begin where the first one left off).
Not small stuff and maybe that’s why it has been sitting on my computer in a (metaphorical) procrastination folder.
Procrastination is a function of the nervous system; so, maybe it’s still hard for me to tell these stories. Maybe I’m afraid of how they will be received. Maybe I don’t feel safe to tell them.
I can deal with those feelings in my body and know that they are real and that they protect me.
And then there is the cosmic and universal timing of all things. I know this can overlap with the trauma response of procrastination. I can believe it is “not the right time” for my book but signs are now showing me that it is. “Timing” is no longer an excuse, but yet it was so valid. I needed more time and the time wasn’t right this last year to get it out in the world.
What’s my point?
If you are procrastinating something it’s ok to recognize that and not pretend it’s something else. It may ALSO be a matter of timing. But feeling this resistance in the body and navigating that; no one else can do that for us.
So…I really am sending my book to my editor this next week. I feel nervous, and maybe it sucks and maybe it doesn’t make sense and maybe no one will read it….
But I wrote it for some reason, and I need to find out what place if any it will have in the world.
PS My Midwife Stories (audio recordings) is available for $50 off thru tomorrow only. Use code MS2828 at checkout.
Oxoxox
Maryn
Leave a Reply