I have been spending a lot of time watching surf videos on YouTube; it’s been a weird social experiment because other than occasionally listening to music, I don’t really watch any videos.
Here’s my observations on current society, take it if you wish and leave it if you don’t.
Everyone out there is an expert. It’s actually funny if you think about it and sort of mind boggling that we live in a time where anyone can talk about anything at all and be seen and heard (potentially). AND then many will go imitate whatever it is, with as little discretion.
(BTW, this post is being interrupted every 20 seconds by Rumi who is trying to do a math worksheet he’s not ready for. You don’t see that or know what’s “real” on social media when everyone is painting their life to be flawless; based on branding colors and a theme. Also, I take it back. It’s every 5 seconds. Cove got in on it).
What’s my point…well, people are this distracted in their everyday lives. I don’t think most people even make it through a YouTube video, much less one that seeks to teach. The attention span is shortening each and every day. It’s constant consuming. Entertain me.
But back to my soapbox. Anyone can blab. Anyone can share their experience and yet it can have this really arrogant, sort of dangerous vibe when it’s bad advice.
I remember back in the day I started attending births as a student, it was really bad form and frowned upon to be one of those women that didn’t get trained but went out to attend births anyway.
Those women, in my experience, weren’t super arrogant about it. They just decided that is what they were going to do, and did it pretty quietly, until they decided to go learn something or they quit.
But nowadays it’s actually cool to just out yourself out there and I feel very “old” in that world. It’s acceptable to not have much to back yourself with, except maybe a merch line. Make some cute birth-y shirts and go viral.
The worst advice I heard from one of the surf “influencers” was to not surf with a leash (the thing that keeps the board attached to your body when you fall). He very confidently said that surfing leashless would “make you a better surfer” which is debatable. What I do NOT think is debatable is that doing that is a stupid, selfish move that could really result in hurting someone. And it summed up what’s happening in a nutshell; it’s not really about taking the time to gain the wisdom, it’s about recklessly pretending you already have it and (irony) not realizing that your show of ego highlights the fact that you do NOT have it.
Geez. This is why I am not on social media at all, and have no desire to see anything like this birth related. I already know it’s out there, and I am praying that this “movement” will eventually blow up or burn out and people will remember what is actually true.
The truth is that you can know something for yourself, but offering yourself as an expert in the world when you aren’t one can’t lead to anything productive. Many of these women pretending to be midwives do it for a time, and usually someone gets hurt or they run out of town. I have had students call themselves midwives when they have attended less than 10 births. As a student. Oh my god.
On the other hand, I am all for sovereignty. I can’t control women attending births without training any more than I can control stupid YouTube videos being made. This is where we are collectively at.
But I will wait here, quietly, doing my thing and trusting that humans will find their way back to integrity. To the deep truths, to the inner work, to the humbleness of learning a new craft and to the magic of being on that journey.
Have a beautiful week.
Oxoxo
Maryn
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