being ok with the uncomfortable

I don’t know (in the big picture) very much about surfing.  But I’ve been chipping away, with what I have learned and feeling like I am “getting somewhere”.

And along comes a new coach, and some different foundational beliefs (that I really resonate with) and I am back to square one.  I know nothing.  As I said to Jason today, I am now chipping away at this iceberg that feels like ignorance, it feels like I have never seen it before.

I remember these times going to births, even as an experienced midwife.  I’d see something at a birth or experience something new; positive or negative, really.  That freaking hemorrhage that came out of nowhere when I was sleep deprived, that surprise breech….or that mama I “thought” would take 3 days to birth but the baby came before I got there.

WHAT ON EARTH?! Is my feeling for all those scenarios.  We know we know nothing and we know life is unexpected yet HOW can it be so uncomfortable to be in the uncomfortable?

There is physical discomfort sometimes in any of the scenarios but really it is emotional often and of the ego.  I think I know, I think I am prepared…and all of that is well and good and serves me most of the time except when it doesn’t!

So, surf-wise…I am learning to be more uncomfortable in the uncomfortable and letting my ego just feel that and see what she thinks.  It doesn’t even have to be “OK”, I just have to be willing to be in it.  I sit in the general feeling of “I have no idea what I am doing” at the same time I am open to the Ocean showing me.  What I do know, and what I do not. 

Same with birth and learning.  All of our truths or beliefs can be thrown out the window in one short lived experience….

Can we be ok with being in the uncomfortable? 

That is the question.

There are a few more days to apply for the scholarship cohort of the Indie Birth Midwifery School and this message applies to that, too.  

Admitting what you don’t know, what you want to know, and being willing to wade through all of it go where you want to go.

Perhaps as a midwife ultimately, or a knowledgeable woman in your community.  Either one comes with its own path.

Learn more and apply here.

Xoxo

Maryn