My very first mailing is going out this week, so if you signed up for my free VIP list I hate to spoil the surprise but I am also really excited to make it to your actual mailbox!! The real one, outside your house. (PS you can still sign up, for future snail mailings:).
That feels like such backwards progress, hah!
Coming to you this week from an intense life lesson from the Ocean. Any one else noticing the Aries energy….fire, war, conflict, chaos? (And ok, I have been writing about Chaos for the last month so I think that is a 2026 theme, for better or worse).
Funny, I had just shared with my new surf coach that the Ocean hadn’t yet struck total fear in me, yet.
And days later…
The Ocean gave me my blood initiation. Short story; my surfboard met my eyebrow with such force that blood was immediately spraying everywhere. Sorry for the TMI! Turns out that area bleeds a lot. If only I had known in that moment that that was what was bleeding, I probably would have stayed calmer. But there I was, out way in the Ocean, without another human soul around.
Eeeshh, that was traumatic. It happened so fast, and I can literally not remember how it happened.
My mentor today (in somatic studies) had me focus on what it felt like to paddle back to shore, blood flowing down my face. I sat in that; I wasn’t really breathing or paying attention to anything else. It was an adrenaline fueled paddle to safety.
Then, she had me remember what it feels like to USUALLY paddle back in, when nothing is wrong and I am relaxed. How those times are so slow, and easy. I can look up at the mountains as I am paddling in, and take a break and just enjoy my journey in.
Ah, my body really relaxed into that. I also was reminded of the resources I did have out there, and the ones I did use. She reminded me how I am very well-resourced (in life, and also in this situation) and it brought me back to my true, strong self. It’s so easy to let fear and shame creep in with such an “accident”; but I was reminded to feel what is true for me in my body.
And in that, I found the expansiveness of the Ocean again. Although I feel wiser; I am no longer so naive. In that vast Ocean freedom is also a wildness. A wildness that is in nature, that is unpredictable. And that also lives in me.
Somatic work has helped me so much. I would not say I am 100% over this yet, but maybe that is not the goal. My goal is to have felt it, processed it, and knowing it has added wisdom to my wisdom bank….go back into the Ocean and catch waves again, once this wound heals!
So much love to you during these weird times, and be checking your snail mail:)
Oxoxo
Maryn
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