Rune, my 16 year old son asked me the other night how much I would “need” to be paid to attend births again.
My own auto-answer surprised me. Before I could analyze or do the math, and before I could add any emotional-mental filter I blurted out….
$50,000.
Yes. Per birth. That is what my body would need to consider doing that all again. At this moment, anyway.
(Not even totally feeling into the 10+months-lifetime of “care” prenatal, postpartum etc.).
I’m not saying that $50,000 is “reasonable” but that was not the question. In our current society and culture, paying a midwife $50,000 (or prob even 30K) would be met with total shock, maybe laughter and a hard NO BECAUSE THAT IS NOT EVEN POSSIBLE for most people-reaction.
I get it. I don’t have $50,000 to pay a midwife either, should I find myself wanting one.
But I wonder why that number feels so shocking, so unbelievable, so undeserving. Although, truthfully, think what you may, but I totally believe my time and effort and wisdom and knowledge IS worth that. Would I have the guts to ask for it, though?
Probably not, although now I’ve put it out there in the Universe, so maybe I have asked. The more you sit with it, the more that *exorbitant* number starts to sink in and feel….maybe not reasonable but POSSIBLE.
Why not imagine? Why not dream of a world where midwives were honored in this way? There is almost zero chance I could go back to the life/lifestyle of only receiving $3000 a birth. Not because I didn’t appreciate it, but that money doesn’t even make a dent in the gravity of this role, and the initiation that we hold space for.
There will always be women that don’t want a midwife, or wouldn’t pay a midwife anything, much less midwives finding the unique women who truly would rearrange their lives for true support. The number itself doesn’t even matter; $50,000 for most people is out of the question, but those same people might spend that on a wedding, or a car or a house. Who’s to say those material things are more valuable than the birth of one’s child?
It’s all a moot point for me right now, because there is little that could get me to sacrifice my family, leave my surfboard on the rack and be accountable to someone else 24/7/. That’s the truth.
But what does this bring up for you? Sit with it, if you would. Feel it in your body. Maybe it’s palpable, depending on if you fall into the midwife category or the client/mama category. Maybe you don’t want to imagine a world where midwives cost so much that you’d actually have to really know what you wanted.
And as a birth worker, you’d potentially have to feel the inadequacy that’s there and the shocking truth that our culture doesn’t really put a high value on our services.
You might wonder about me….and please do….what is wrong with this woman? Is she nuts?? WHAT PRIVILEGE.
But to end positively, this was a great litmus test for me to know that right now, I am doing the right thing for me. Not being on call for birth has allowed me to rebuild my body, my strength, my emotional capacity and my nervous system. The ocean is healing me and I have no one to answer to but her.
I don’t know right now if I will be part of the new solution, or not.
If you’re reading this now as a new midwife, or a student or as an aspiring midwife….
I hope you can create some of this new change and energy with whatever you bring to this work.
All is not lost, some things just haven’t been unwound yet in our collective, and by speaking to them, we already engage the shift.
Tell me what this brings up for you. Too crazy? Or a paradigm shift you are ready for?
PS; if my thinking irks you, do nothing. If you appreciate it, make sure you sign up for my free VIP email/snail mail. Everyone else will get deleted in 2026.
In love,
Maryn
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